It's over!

My radio treatment is officially over and I'm enjoying day 1 for the 5-yr count. Think this is all His plan 'cos today's my birthday too. What a nice birthday present :-)

The last 5 boosters were targeting the ellipse where my scar is. Just one beam, compared to 2 for the previous 25 times, so each session is much shorter.

25 days

I've reached the 25 days mark. Next 5 will be boosters. I'm partially sunburnt. Don't really know how to describe 'cos I've not been sunburnt before. I turn red like a crab but don't peel. Am something like that now. Thank God it doesn't hurt :-)
I wonder how long it'll stay this way. Interestingly (to me at least), the sunburnt part is exactly within the marks that have been marked out on me.
Will post more soon. Have been spending lots of time with my kids and really enjoying this time. Thank God for opportunities!
Oh ya, in case I forget, I'll blog about the support group's 2nd meeting. Really fun :-) Thank God for support groups and for nurses who go the extra miles.

Tiredness

This fatigue thing creeps up on me often but I guess, in a way, this side effect is more manageable than dizziness. So I sleep on the way home, sleep when I get home, sleep whenever I feel so extremely tired. Some days I sleep for 3-4 hours in the afternoon, till the kids wake me up for dinner. Some days I get by without. It comes and it goes.
That was last week.
This week, for the first 2 days the fatigue bug was away. I was quite happy, being able to spend time with kids and do some long-overdue spring-cleaning (ya, after Chinese New Year). This afternoon, I knocked out after lunch, on a full tummy. Sleeping despite the din the kids were making, despite the warmth of the afternoon. Till the insurance agent woke me up.
I'm meeting KH tomorrow for lunch. She started radio on 29Jan.

Mdm Tan?

Sometimes I'm so engrossed in the book that I'm reading that I don't hear the radio therapists call my name. They call twice: first to tell me to go wait at the green chair, then to go in. Sometimes I don't hear once, sometimes both, but yesterday, the therapist called "Mdm Tan" and looked at me. "Mdm Tan" he called again, looking at me. I got up and went.

Come to think of it, I didn't check if my picture was there on the screen. This was the pic that was taken during the radio simulation. The numbers were correct though, always starting with 46. These are the bearings for positioning me.

Just as I was leaving to go change back, "Mdm Tan", he called again. I didn't respond 'cos I didn't think it was me. "Mdm Tan", he called again. I seemed to have trailed my skein of yarn, having dropped it for a few metres that I ignored the therapist. That'll teach me to be more careful about holding my knitting stuff. Hahahaha!

Obituary: HH's mom

HH's mom passed away yesterday morning. She had a recurrence of stomach cancer in November. When I saw her last month, she was already very thin. She was in good spirits then, also encouraging me, just like HH. When I saw her again yesterday, she had lost so much weight. HH said her mum took nothing but glucose-flavoured water the past two weeks.
I felt a bit awkward 'cos I was very early, arriving before the tentage was set up. I felt I had to lend support to HH who had been there for me multiple times during my tunnel period at the hospital. What little I could do, in comparison to her constant encouragement and advice.
HH and her sisters' apparent love for their mum made me rethink about my own mum. As I watched them spending time with her, I felt their sadness even though there wasn't much tears. Much has been shed already since November.
Dear God, please help me to love my mum while she's still here. Please also grant HH's family the peace to know that her mum is now with you. Give them enough rest after the wake and may they grow closer together. Help them cherish each other more. Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Cheap Fruit Hunt

I've been searching for cheap pomegranates for a while. Finest had huge ones at 45c/100g but not anymore. The NTUC near my place has small ones at 55c/100g. Cold Storage doesn't have. Giant had but the 2 I bought were rotten at the bottom. Shop N Save doesn't have. Wet market stalls don't have. Central market doesn't have. Why is it so difficult to find a fruit that can be grown locally? I think I'll try to grow my own, hahaha.

Anyway, just as I was leaving NCC yesterday, I saw a huge crowd gathering round a makeshift fruit stall. I went to have a look and was wowed by the large selection. I bought 2 packets of mini mandarins ($2/packet or $5 for 3 packets) and 1 packet of longan (same price as mini mandarins). I also chose a packet of fragrant pear ($2.50) for Tiffy and when I thought that was about all I could carry, I saw the pomegranates. They weren't the red colour that I saw before. These were light brown. At $1 each, I asked for 2 and the man promptly gave me 3 for the price of 2. God is good :-)

I've not tried them yet. Will let you know if it's red inside soon.

Blood Donation

Yesterday I had to take my weight measurement and that triggered the memory of the last time I took my weight.

I think it was the last time I donated blood in early Oct 2008, just weeks before my discovery of the lump. Weighing is necessary to know how much blood can be drawn. I don't weigh each time I go, only when I'm asked to. Then, my weight was 54kg.

On 12 Dec 2008, when I got the diagnosis, I asked the oncologist, what about the blood that I've donated. I don't know how long blood can be kept. She explained that there are no markers to indicate that there are cancer cells in the blood for my type of cancer. I took it to mean it's a good thing that it's not present in the blood to be detected. She explained a bit more about markers and I arrived at the conclusion that there's no way I will know if I'm 100% cured or if I already am. Markers are present for certain types of cancers and even then, it's not a guarantee. Meaning, if it's not there, it doesn't mean there's no cancer. I also realised that this would be when I trust God to have healed me completely :-)

That long afternoon, after SOC consultation, oncologist consultation and radiologist consultation, I walked down the slope to the train station and detoured to HSA. I had to do my part to inform them. The nurse let me see the doctor almost immediately. Initially I thought he was a bit insensitive 'cos he kept repeating that I can't donate blood anymore (which made me sad for a while) till he mentioned that, don't worry, this is curable. Yeah!

I've been donating blood for a few years now. I'm elated each time I'm able to 'cos it was a confirmation of God's gift of good health. Even when I can't donate blood now, I'm learning another facet of God's love - to trust that He loves me and will heal me.

Dear Person-reading-this-blog, if you're able to, please go donate blood. Thank you, in advance :-)

• It doesn't hurt other than the local anaesthesia.
  
• It doesn't take long either 'cos the actual drawing of blood is only minutes for whole blood.
  
• It does a whole lot of good for those who need the blood.
• The nurses there are super-friendly and very gentle.
• While I don't participate in the family events, there was a picnic/movie at Esplanade park, sand-castle building at East Coast etc.
• I also get other freebies like umbrella (which I didn't collect), calendar, notebook, Risis pendant (which I didn't collect). There's a fine line between advertising to get more donors and boasting that I can. I don't want to cross that line.
  
• You get free iron tablets, free drink and snack at the cafe.
• You also get a free squeezie and a really cool band at your elbow.
• It's only every 12 weeks, or longer if you like.
  
• It's a reminder that God gives good health.

BTW, my weight yesterday was 51.4kg. I lost a bit of weight recently due to change of appetite, exercising by piggy-backing Toby in Hong Kong and pushing the wheelchair up and down the slopes in Ocean Park, stairs even. Hahaha, memorable times.